


Torchwood Messages

by AbaddonProud



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, My First Fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:12:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1487608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbaddonProud/pseuds/AbaddonProud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack has the Torchwood Team join a chat room and things happen!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Torchwood Messages

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters, just the plot.

* * *

 Captain Jack Harkness bounded out of his office. "Did everyone download that site I was telling you about?

Gwen sighed and spun around in her chair to face him. "Yes, Jack. You've asked us at least a hundred times today!"

"Alright! Log in, already!" Jack ran inside his office to grab his laptop and emerged with the typical "Captain Jack Harkness Grin."

Toshiko was the first to log in. "What is this, Jack?" She asked, her eyes wandering the screen.

"It's a messaging site. We can message each other and chat in chat rooms. I've already set up your usernames. Let's try it out!" Jack quickly opened a chat room.

Warily, the Torchwood team joined the chat.

* * *

**SexyCaptain has come online**

**TeaBoy has come online**

**TechieTosh has come online**

**KingoftheWeevils has come online**

**WelshPrincess has come online**

**TechieTosh:**  What's the point of this, Jack?

 **SexyCaptain:** I dunno. I was browsing the internet for fun things to do with Ianto... *hint hint, Yan* And I came across this website.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** One, my name is NOT KING OF THE WEEVILS!!!!! And two, DISGUSTING, JACK!

 **TeaBoy:** JACK!!!!!

 **SexyCaptain:** What??

 **WelshPrincess:**  Why is my name WelshPrincess?

 **SexyCaptain:** It was the first thing that came to mind.

 **TechieTosh:** Can we change them?

 **WelshPrincess:** Yeah, can we?

 **SexyCaptain:**  I'm sure you can... Somewhere.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** Well, I'm going to change it now!

**KingoftheWeevils has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain:**  So... How do you like it?

 **TeaBoy:** It's okay... Not sure if it's necessary...

 **SexyCaptain:**  We can use this for "Sexy Janto Time"

 **WelshPrincess:**  "Sexy Janto Time?!?!" What the hell is "Janto?"

 **TeaBoy:**  Jack made it up. It's a combination of Jack and Ianto. It's ridiculous.

 **TechieTosh:** I think it's cute.

 **WelshPrincess:**  Umm okay... I'm just gonna go to give you two some ALONE time.

 **TechieTosh:**  Same here. Later!

**WelshPrincess has gone offline**

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

**TeaBoy:** Jack!!!

 **SexyCaptain:** What?

 **TeaBoy:**  That was embarrassing!

 **SexyCaptain:**  What was!??

 **TeaBoy:** The searching for fun things to do with Ianto or the Sexy Janto Time!???

 **SexyCaptain:** I don't see what the big deal is.

 **TeaBoy:** They're our CO-WORKERS. They don't need to know about out private relationship!

 **SexyCaptain:** Okay, I'm sorry Yan. I'll try to trim it back.

 **TeaBoy:**  It's alright. Tosh says there are no rift activities for the rest of the day, so maybe if you sent the team home, we could try some of the things you had in mind...

 **SexyCaptain:**  Consider it done! Meet me in my office in 10!

 **TeaBoy:**  That's ten and counting, sir.

**TeaBoy has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain has gone offline**

* * *

  **KingoftheWeevils has come online**

**TechieTosh has come online**

**TechieTosh:**  Couldn't figure out how to change your username I presume?

 **KingoftheWeevils:**  Shut up, Tosh!

 **TechieTosh:** Oi! That's not how you treat your girlfriend!

 **TechieTosh:**  I'll tell Ianto to put you on decaf for a week!

 **KingoftheWeevils:**  Not decaf! I'm sorry Tosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

**KingoftheWeevils has gone offline**

* * *

  ** **WelshPrincess has come online****

****TechieTosh has come online** **

****WelshPrincess:**** Hey, Tosh!

 **TechieTosh:** Hi, Gwen.

 **WelshPrincess:**  How's it going with Owen?

 **TechieTosh:**  It's okay... He's taking me out to dinner tonight. Some fancy restaurant at the edge of Cardiff.

 **WelshPrincess:** Nice!

 **TechieTosh:** Yeah, I've domesticated him.

 **WelshPrincess:** Ha! Well, I have to go, Jack wants a UNIT file reviewed and sent in the morning. Rhys is going to kill me.

 **TechieTosh:** Well, good luck!

 **WelshPrincess:** Thanks! Have fun on your date.

**WelshPrincess has gone offline**

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

* * *

**SexyCaptain has come online**

**TeaBoy has come online**

**SexyCaptain:** Yan, can I have some coffee?

 **TeaBoy:** I just brought you some less than half an hour ago!

 **SexyCaptain:** But I have a good reason!!

 **TeaBoy:**  And what is it?

**KingoftheWeevils has come online**

**SexyCaptain:** So I can see your sexy arse.

 **SexyCaptain:**  Whoops, sorry Owen!

 **KingoftheWeevils:** AUGH!!!!!!!!!

**KingoftheWeevils has gone offline**

**TeaBoy:** JACK!!

 **SexyCaptain:** That was an honest mistake! I was typing and I didn't realize that he had come online!

**TechieTosh has come online**

**TechieTosh:** Why did Owen just run out of the hub?

 **SexyCaptain:**  No clue.

 **TeaBoy:**...

 **TechieTosh:** Lemme guess. He came on here when you two were in the middle of "Sexy Janto Time."

 **SexyCaptain:** Yep.

 **TeaBoy:** This is so embarrassing!

 **TechieTosh:**  Oh, Owen's always like that! Just ignore him!

**WelshPrincess has come online**

**WelshPrincess:** Is Owen okay?

 **TechieTosh:** Yeah, he just joined the chat while Jack and Ianto were... you know...

 **TeaBoy:** Tosh!!!!!!!!!

 **TechieTosh:**...Sorry...

 **WelshPrincess:**  Oh.... That makes sense.

 **SexyCaptain:** Anyways, back to the ORIGINAL subject. Yan, will you PLEASE bring me your amazing coffee!??

 **TechieTosh:**  Ooh! Me too!

 **WelshPrincess:** Count me in also!!

 **TeaBoy:** Oi! I just made coffee!

 **TechieTosh:** Mine's all gone.

 **WelshPrincess:** Mine too.

 **TeaBoy:** Fine.

**TeaBoy has gone offline**

**TechieTosh:** Yay!

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

**WelshPrincess has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain has gone offline**

* * *

****KingoftheWeevils has come online** **

****SexyCaptain has come online** **

****KingoftheWeevils:**** Is it safe to come on?

 **SexyCaptain:**  Yess... Ianto's mad at me for telling everyone what happened so I'm on decaf for the rest of the day.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** Hah! Serves you right!

 **SexyCaptain:** You'll be next.

**KingoftheWeevils has gone offline**

**WelshPrincess has come online**

**WelshPrincess:** Hey Jack, Tosh says there isn't any rift activity for the rest of the day, so can I go home? I haven't spent proper time with Rhys in almost a month.

 **SexyCaptain:**  I guess, just keep your phone on incase anything comes up.

 **WelshPrincess:**  Thanks, Jack!

**WelshPrincess has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain has gone offline**

* * *

****TeaBoy has come online** **

****KingoftheWeevils has come online** **

****KingoftheWeevils:**** What's wrong with you and Jack?

 **TeaBoy:** What do you mean!?!

 **KingoftheWeevils:** You've been acting strange around him all day.

 **TeaBoy:** Well, uh...

**SexyCaptain has come online**

**TeaBoy:** I got to go make coffee and organize the tourist office.

**TeaBoy has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain:** Dammit.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** What?

 **SexyCaptain:** Ianto did something by accident and now he's avoiding me.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** What did he do?

 **SexyCaptain:** Well, We were having sex, and Ianto is AMAZING at it, and we were doing it, and well, he made me have a heart attack. I died right there, and he freaked out. Completely.

 **KingoftheWeevils:** OH MY GOD.

**KingoftheWeevils has gone offline**

**TeaBoy has come online**

**SexyCaptain:** Ianto!!!

 **TeaBoy:**  ... **  
**

**SexyCaptain:** Ianto! Don't do this! It was an accident! It was also the most amazing sex I've had in awhile! You were perfect.

 **TeaBoy:** I killed you! DURING SEX!

 **SexyCaptain:** So? It doesn't mean you have to freak out!

**TechieTosh has come online**

**TeaBoy:** I gave you a heart attack during sex!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT FREAK OUT!!!!!?

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

**TeaBoy:** Fuck.

**TeaBoy has gone offline**

**SexyCaptain has gone offline**

* * *

****WelshPrincess has come online** **

****TechieTosh has come online** **

****TechieTosh:**** GWEN! Guess what!!!!

 **WelshPrincess:**  What?

 **TechieTosh:** Ianto gave Jack a heart attack during sex!

 **WelshPrincess:**  WHAT!???????

 **TechieTosh:**  YES! They were arguing about it over chat when I joined! I left immediately after I realized what was going on.

 **WelshPrincess:**  Blimey, that must've been embarrassing for Ianto.

**SexyCaptain has come online**

**SexyCaptain:** What were you talking about?

 **WelshPrincess:**  How did you know we were talking about anything?

 **SexyCaptain:** Because a few moments ago, Gwen was blushing and laughing hysterically.

 **TechieTosh:**  It was nothing.

**TechieTosh has gone offline**

**WelshPrincess:** So....

 **SexyCaptain:**  So?

 **WelshPrincess:** I never knew Ianto was capable of killing someone. Especially during sex.

 **SexyCaptain:** GWEN!!!!!!!

 **WelshPrincess:** Tosh told me!!

**WelshPrincess has gone offline**

**TeaBoy has come online**

**SexyCaptain:** Ianto, please put both Tosh and Gwen on decaf for the next week.

 **TeaBoy:** Why?

 **SexyCaptain:** They know.

 **TeaBoy:** Dammit.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you like it!
> 
> It's also on Wattpad if you'd like to read it there!


End file.
